Spoon Theory and Surviving Chronic Pain (and Illness)

This should’ve been the first post I ever wrote because it gets to the heart of why I started Getting Better Pod. If you’re new here, hi! I’m Savannah, and I’ve been through my share of health struggles—multiple surgeries, chronic pain, and daily migraines that ruled my life for years. I couldn’t look at screens, be in the sun, or even cry without making the pain worse. For a while, I felt like I was barely surviving, not living.

That’s where the name of my podcast (and this post) comes from. When you’re dealing with health issues, it becomes clear there’s no magical "healed" destination. It’s all about the journey—always working toward getting better.

[listen to GB episode 8 expanding on this article]

What Is the Spoon Theory?

If you’ve never heard of the Spoon Theory, it’s a metaphor Christine Miserandino came up with to explain what life with chronic illness or pain feels like. Spoons represent your energy for the day. (Her full article is wonderfully human and touching.)

For someone “healthy,” it might feel like you have endless spoons. You don’t think about spending them; you just do what you need and want to do. But for someone with chronic illness, spoons are finite, and you have to use them wisely.

For example, it might take:

• 1 spoon to brush your teeth

• 2 spoons to get dressed

• 3 spoons to run an errand

You don’t always wake up with the same number of spoons. Some days, I’ve had 10. Other days, just 3—or even 1. And when you run out, that’s it. You can’t borrow spoons from tomorrow. Overdoing it can lead to flare-ups, panic attacks, exhaustion, or worse.

The Spoon Theory gave me a way to explain what I was going through and helped my relationships. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this because I’m in pain,” I could say, “I don’t have enough spoons for dinner, but I'd love to grab a coffee.” It made people understand my limitations without feeling rejected or like I was making excuses.

Living with Chronic Pain

If you’re dealing with chronic pain or illness, my biggest piece of advice is to build a roadmap. A roadmap is basically a game plan for what to do when things get hard.

• Figure out what helps you during a flare-up or rough day.

• Share it with your support system ahead of time, so they know how to help.

• Be honest about what you need—even if it’s scary or vulnerable.

This might look like creating codewords or signals for when you’re feeling low or setting up a plan for leaving an event early if you’re not feeling well. It’s not easy, but it saves energy and makes sure the people who care about you can actually help. {and for the ones who have shown you they don't care enough to try, spend your spoons on someone else}

Seek Help and Hold Onto Hope

I waited way too long to see a pain specialist. Looking back, I wish I’d sought out more professional help sooner—whether that was from doctors, specialists, or even medication. It’s not a perfect system, and it’s overwhelming, but your health is worth fighting for.

Finally, let’s talk about hope. Chronic pain can make it feel like your life will never get better. But let me tell you, even when I couldn’t find hope for myself, my friends held it for me. Sometimes you need someone to remind you that things can change, that you’re more than your suffering.

If you’re feeling hopeless today, I’ll hold that hope for you. Just focus on giving yourself grace today.

Take it one spoon at a time. Give yourself grace. Rest when you need to. And remember—you’re not alone. Here’s to your spoons, your health, and as always, here's to getting better.